jobhaver:

you: that is a nice ass shirt

me: thank you but, to be honest, its called “pants” and not an “ass shirt”

(via kyousaya)

ihaveabsolutelynoidea:

god saw his children suffering and was like “hey what if you took bread and made it into a bowl and put soup or pasta in there how cool would that be”

and it was good

(via moderatelyhumorous)

poetrymafia:

I just found what may be the best description of Orphan Black, season one: “Sarah hopes that cleaning out a dead woman’s bank account will solve all of her problems. Instead, her problems multiply - and so does she.

(via whatwordsmiss)

When someone says they have a dog

nipstudent:

You’re like

image

(via justtripping)

tarargh:

i only have two speed settings for blogging: “makes you wonder if theyre even still active” or “your entire dash is nothing but me”

(via fluent-in-lesbianism)

lizthefangirl:

lokisoldiergonecumberbabed:

open-notebook-ramblings:

Headcanon: the mascots of the four Hogwarts houses are the Patronuses of their namesakes.

Oh

oh

(Source: stillinskay, via noamccool)

rydek:

R.I.P. MSN, the only messenger that allowed me to send a giant unavoidable popup of a pig shaking his ass to funky techno music to my conversational partner if they were ignoring me

(Source: ryyde, via nerdybutt)

neyruto:

hobgoblinhero:

neyruto:

if you use a slur toward a group youre not a part of your punishment should be saying that slur over and over while locked in a room with a group of ridiculously strong people of said affected groups. your only weapon is a tiny set of maracas 

I would make it into a song and dance number in the stereotypical accent of that group. They wouldn’t stop laughing long enough to beat me up. 

have you ever interacted with other people in your life 

(via whatwordsmiss)

railroadsoftware:

no one ever says that Rome needed help from aliens to build their empire

(via noamccool)

When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.
Lemony Snicket (via fairestregal)

(via whatwordsmiss)

17yroldghost:

a-beard:

fuckyeahassortedstuff:

roshi-no-tabi:

Fun Fact: None of the actors but Gene Wilder knew that the tunnel scene was coming. Like, they had the lines and stuff, but they thought it was just a boat ride. And when the lights came on and he started singing their terror was real

This happened a lot throughout the movie. Which is one of the reasons it’s such a great film. The directors did the same thing when they all saw the inside of the Factory for the first time. They wanted to show the face of pure imagination. To capture it all.

Same thing with the scene where he comes out of the factory to greet them.  None of them had gotten to meet Gene beforehand, so when he came out all hobbled on the cane and they had these confused looks on their faces and look actually concerned when he starts to tumble forward?  That’s all legit.  This whole movie was successful because it fucked with everyone who wasn’t Gene Wilder.

You guys know the sad Charlie reaction pic I use so much? That’s another ad lib scene. In rehearsals, gene was a lot calmer, but when they were actually filming he exploded on Peter ostrum (Charlie). That sad expression is genuine. And tht’s what it’s basically my favorite reaction picture ever.

The reason he came out limping and then rolled forward was so that from that point forward nobody could tell if he was lying or telling the truth.

literally none of this movie was scripted they just found a group of people and had them improvise an entire movie as cameras were rolling gene wilder doesn’t even exist you’re still dreaming 

(Source: ikickath, via keepcalmandfaberryon)

He’d never cared much for strawberries, but that summer her lips were so stained with the juices that they were all he tasted.

And he’d never had a favourite fruit, but two years later, a new girl is sat in front of him, laughing at his jokes.

"If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?" She asks playfully.

And he remembers how her hands traced the veins in his neck and made their way across his chest. He remembers her soft breathing and limbs draped across his shoulders.

"Strawberries." He tells her. "I could live a life on nothing but strawberries."

— Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #54 -"Strawberries" (via blossomfully)

(via ninjaae)

susfishcious:

susfishcious:

susfishcious:

susfishcious:

I have two potential ID pictures and I know exactly which one I’m going to try to submit

I under stand that my head is tilted by a professional smile???

How is my smile not professional???

Let’s try round 2.

Rejected again.

I’m very confused. I must inquire further. 

THIS IS THE DAY I DIE

(via konako)

sassykardashian:

I’m all “hey buy me this” but anytime someone does I’m like “no I can’t accept it, I must pay you back, I don’t want it actually thanks”

(via thelonelyfart)

(Source: punkrockho, via counterpunches)

FABERRY ARMY