Aries - WTF DO YOU MEAN? *punches officer* YEAH, TRY TO ARREST ME NOW! *runs*
Taurus - It wasn’t me, I was home, doing other things rather than killing someo - oh, donuts! *gets inside police car*
Gemini - *starts arguing with themself* "You did it, no you did! I didn’t do it, so you had to be the one who did it, no I’m telling you, I didn’t do it, oh yes you did!"
Cancer - What do you mean I killed this person? I was at the hospital visiting my mom who’s on her deathbed. I just got a call, she woke up now. Please officer, let me visit her before she dies.. *gets free pass*
Leo - I swear I didn’t kill anyone! Please! I’m so innocent! *sees a group of people looking* HELL YEAH I KILLED HIM. I KILLED HIM GOOD! NOBODY MESSES WITH THIS BIG, BAD LEO!
Virgo - Technically, you can’t arrest me because you have no actual proof. You can use probable cause to search me, but you can’t arrest me.
Libra - ugh, this is not pretty, not pretty at all. *brushes hair*
Scorpio - *says nothing* *police car mysteriously crashes* *scorpio gets away without any witnesses*
Sagittarius - I’m getting arrested! This is so cool omg I’m getting arrested for the first time ever. Hey, do you want to turn this into a road trip and take our time getting there?
Capricorn - My lawyer will sue you and your partner for defamation and your sergeant and your captain for hiring you IDIOTS! And the person that actually committed the crime!
Aquarius - You know there’s more important things in this world such as world hunger or our corrupt government, than the accidental death of a lady no one likes.
Pisces - Why am I getting arrested? *cries* I thought if I didn’t pay it, it would simply go away! *shrugs shoulders*
SEE THE THING IS, he said, BIG GIRLS LEAVE MORE SPACE FOR ME TO GRAB AHOLD OF
i’m not your handlebars
SEE THE THING IS, she said, BIG GIRLS ARE BETTER THAN SKINNY ONES BECAUSE MEN DON’T LIKE BONES
other girls are not graveyards
SEE THE THING IS
a baby girl isn’t beautiful because somebody is gonna hold her
i mean we all wanna be loved but i want her to
a baby girl isn’t beautiful because a man’s fingertips can dig
bruises into her hips, she’s beautiful because
she just is
in nature we don’t say a flower is beautiful
when somebody wants to pick it
in fact we say that nature’s beauty is at the height of purity
when it would destroy you to even touch it
SEE THE THING IS
i would rather be an ocean of danger and deep black and
thick mermaid thighs rather than
a body you want to cruise across
i would rather be the night sky and crush ribs with a suffocating sense that we are all small and purposeless
rather than a landscape of freckles someone happens to think
are akin to constellations
i would rather be storms and lightning and a bright sun rising, i
would rather make you quake in your boots than get your heart
i would rather be beautiful like a cold spring stream:
not beautiful because you said so
but beautiful because
i am me.
So my cousin was in a gay pride parade and everything in her outfit and makeup was rainbow but she was wearing red contacts and while marching, a protester behind her yelled “You’re going straight to hell” and she turns around to face him with her fuCKING blood red eyes and she says “well duh, I got a kindom to run” and the protester nearly fucking passed out that is her legacy I want to be like her
So I’m moving into a new apartment, and I was told that the room had been damaged, but nothing could have prepared me for the fact that someone had carved Li Shang’s head out of the bathroom door and written “We must defeat the Huns!” on it.
it would have made more sense if it said we must defeat the runs